this was forever ☾
June 27, 2017


When Cupid is sleeping on the job, you shouldn’t feel ashamed or concerned about taking matters into your own hands and pursuing love on your own terms. But if you’re not doing this correctly, you may end up taking some hits to your self-esteem, let alone the more obvious risks of spending time with someone who you really don’t click with at all!

Here are a few things that you should keep in mind when it comes to finding love.

Self-Love
As Kendrick Lamar has highlighted in… well, probably about half of his songs, loving yourself is an essential element to finding love with others. Problems with self-esteem and baggage aren’t going to help you very much in this field. Not taking care of yourself is also going to be a problem. If you don’t love yourself, then you’re going to neglect yourself. There are going to be insecurities that will plague a relationship at some point. A lack of self-love may also end in a lack of fulfillment, simply because you end up focussing more on making your partner happy than meeting your own goals and criteria for happiness. Spend a little more time on yourself; take advantage of some of the perks of being single instead of putting every ounce of energy into finding love!

Your Way
Another reason you need to focus on yourself: when you have a better idea of the life you want to live, then it will be easier to find people who better fit that life. It will be easier to find people who will help you reach your goals and respect your independence. The best partners are those who like your sense of independence and adventure; they don’t want you to be submissive or follow any path other than your own. Don’t go changing things you like about yourself or ignoring your goals just because you think it will be easier to find a partner.

Routes to Take
Online dating, blind dates, apps – there are loads of ways to approach this. Even things like psychic readings or the AstroStyle Capricorn love horoscope might be of use to you! Research all your options carefully, and take advantage of free trials.You should take care not to dismiss certain platforms just because people you know haven’t had much success with them. A lot of people you know may badmouth Tinder – and, to be fair, there’s a lot of room for error with Tinder! – but there are loads of people who have found love through what many perceive to be a shallow and overly simple app.

Fantasy Creates Problems
A lot of people who have problems finding love may find themselves imagining a “perfect partner”. This fantasy lover this going to be very helpful for your pursuit, because these fantasies create unrealistic expectations. They set you up for disappointment. This isn’t to say that you shouldn’t have a “type” – you can’t really help having romantic preferences. But creating some sort of template, even if it doesn’t seem outlandish – e.g. “I want to find a guy who owns a house and earns at least $70,000 a year and will write poems about me” – just restricts you.